Many people get caught in the trap of trying to help too much, generally we use the term enabling when we are talking about relationships with someone with a drug or alcohol problem. What enabling means is that the family member or loved one is allowing the person with the drug and alcohol problem to continue their life with out having to face the consequences that would normally come to them. Allowing the person with a drug or alcohol problem to continue to behave in a negative manner without any consequences is enabling. It allows the problem to get worse.
Enabling behaviors often come from fear, fear that something bad will happen to the person if they aren't "helped", fear that things will get worse etc. The enabling behavior is often accompanied with a lot of anger, yelling, threatening, lecturing, warning, etc but with no real consequence, these behaviors allow the enabler to feel like they are trying to help the person while protecting them at the same time.
One of the hardest, but most loving things you can do is to let the person you care about feel the consequences of their actions.
